Headache
by honeycakehorse
Summary: Harry does not like making this potion. Neither does Snape.


Rating: PG-13

Characters: Snape, Harry, Hermione, Ron

Notes: #33 What is written on page 394? Inspired by 'Robin Hood – Men in Tights'.

**Headache**

"Open your books on page 394 and prepare the potion described there." Snape's voice boomed through the classroom. "And I don't want to hear any of you complaining." He looked around at the students. "Begin!"

A wild scramble for books and cauldrons and ingredients began even before the books were opened. Snape shook his head. They were never going to learn it. How much sense did it take to open the book, before starting to cut the ingredients up? Even a Gryffindor could manage that. Hell, even a Kneazle could manage that!

He was disturbed by loud voices coming from the direction of the famous Gryffindor Trio. He felt his hackles rise. The know-it-all and her two lackeys didn't have anything better to do than argue about something or other.

He thought for a moment about taking points on a general principle, but then decided against it. It would be better to listen to them first, would perhaps even give him an insight into their next plan.

He strode through the room, barely glancing at the cauldrons of his Slytherin students and snorting disdainfully at those of the Gryffindors. Imbeciles, all of them.

When he neared the Trio, he could make out single words, a bit closer and he could hear everything they were saying.

"I'm not touching that!"

Potter, of course. Probably thought himself too good to do servant's work.

"Harry, just don't think about it. It's just like cutting up a frog's liver."

Granger looked almost as exasperated as he felt, not that he would ever tell her she was anything but annoying. Weasley, next to the two was red-faced. What had he done to look that way?

"Well, then do it yourself!"

"I'm cutting up the roots and have to see that the ingredients are added in the right order."

"Then make Ron do it!" He ended with a small yelp, when Granger probably kicked him.

"Psst, do you want to bring Snape down on our heads?"

Snape almost snorted. Too late for that.

"Hermione, I am not touching toad balls!"

That was what this whole drama was about? Most first years learned not to be disgusted by the most unusual ingredients and Potter was putting up a fuss about that?

He was tempted to just takes points for sissiness, but instead continued to listen. Intrigued how Potter would worm his way out of that and make one of his sidekicks do his work.

"Harry, the recipe clearly says that the testicles need to be sliced thinly. You know Ron always slices things as if he was going to play Frisbee with it."

Play what?

"Oh great, not enough that I have to do the cooking for the Dursleys, now I'm also being punished because I can cut smaller slices than Ron?"

Weasley looked as if he was about to explode. Perhaps his insatiable parents should have invested in some sex education instead of producing more offspring. Interstingly, he wasn't trying to defend his honour. Probably too much of a sissy to cut testicles as well.

"Yes."

Potter looked as if he was about to be sick, but then squared his shoulders. He glared once more at Granger and then stared at the testicles. "Right. I'm in Gryffindor. Gryffindors are brave. I can do this."

He picked up one of the testicles with his finger tips and laid it on the cutting board. With extreme distaste written all over his face, he held it wit his left hand and started to cut with the right.

"How do you know that frog liver and toad balls feel the same way, Hermione?"

Now, that was enough. If he had to listen to more of their babble, he was going to get a headache. Snape took another step towards the Trio and leaned over their table. "And what is so interesting that you have to disturb my lessons? Any problems?" His expression had to tell them that there better be none.

Granger answered. "No, sir. Just deciding who does what."

"Then get on with it. I won't hesitate to let you brew the potion again tonight in detention."

He swirled around, but then looked back. "And five points from Gryffindor for talking in the classroom." He walked back towards his desk. When he strode past Brown's and Patil's desk, he heard a squeak and one of the girls shouting. "I won't touch some toad's... private bits."

Snape felt the headache coming on.

END


End file.
